#stoptheworry2k15

"Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?"

Who of you has the power to control what happens in a single
day
hour
year?

Who of you has the power to control how people react to what you
do
say
feel?

We are absolutely powerless, we have control of nothing, and nothing is assured. The Maker and Master of the universe loves us infinitely and controls it all. Worrying has power to do nothing but  paralyze us into inaction. Therefore, "do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. Then the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

little things

I am the most thankful in the littlest things.

The white wall that reflects the sunshine perfectly
at 3:01 in the afternoon makes me feel nothing but
its warmth for just a moment and I am
the most thankful then.

The breeze today is a little warmer than it was
yesterday and my lungs appreciate the break
from the onset of winter and I am
the most thankful then.

I have tried and tried and tried again to sweep up
the dry and dead leaves into a pile with my feet;
all they do is crunch but I am
the most thankful then.

When the flicker of streetlights outside makes the evening
blink like a Christmas tree sewn with stars,
I see it all through my window and I am
the most thankful then.

When the eternal God shows Himself through the cracks
in my tiny twisting temporal universe,
I fall on my face and I am
the most thankful then.

honey leaves

I'm never prouder of my honey brown eyes than when I see their color reflected, pooling in the leaves and winds of autumn.

loss (in class assignment)

It's like breathing with one lung or trying to tie your shoes after drinking enough coffee to send you into a tumbling mess. It's like feeling everything at once or nothing at all because no matter if you spit the loss or swallow, you still chew in between. Loss gets stuck on your teeth like popcorn kernels or the skin of an apple and it doesn't leave unless you floss and oh, you always bleed, darling. It's like nothing you will ever feel again because loss is unique like the pair of shoes you found at the thrift shop and wore down until you tripped because the heel tore open and you bled- love, you will always, always bleed.

Time heals all wounds and stops all bleeding, but sometimes the bones don't set right.

good God thoughts

I am so, so slow to listen.
I hear God in pieces;
140 characters only, please.
God of the universe made to fit my needs,
I have other things to attend.

"God is love"
okay that's all I want to hear
today that's all I want to know
that's all I want to focus on;
the bigger He gets the smaller I feel.

I don't well like feeling small.

You have infinity in your mind
as a small dose of entirety,
and all I want to hear is
what to say next.
Lord, forgive my simplicity.

Let me trust that what you are doing is good.
Let me listen for longer than 140 characters.
Let my focus grow.

Feeling small is a tiny price to pay for a connection with you.

allergy season

I am allergic to anxiety

When I breathe it in. 

My lungs swell up 

They press on my stomach;

It raises an acidic protest. 

I've tried to stop breathing

But irrationality fighting irrationality 

Only breeds frustration. 

Dear Lord, 

Only you can heal me.